The Episcopal Counseling Center

Volume I; Issue 3; Mar.2008

FAMILY - SANCTUARY

By Wally Reynolds, Ph.D.

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in.”
 “I should have called it Something you somehow haven’t to deserve.” -- Robert Frost

We expect many things from our families, whether that family is a single mother or father and their child; a grandparent, parent and child; the “classic” mom and dad and 2.3 children; an extended family of three generations living together, or a large family that looks like an episode from the “Brady Bunch,” or the movie “Cheaper by the Dozen.”

Regardless of the nature of our family, we all would hope that our family would offer a safe and loving haven from the stress and conflict that we often experience in the world outside of the door of the house or apartment that we share with those who should care the most about us and be the closest to us.  However, in today’s world, that may often not feel like the reality in which we live on a day-to-day basis.

We live in a society in which it has become hard to define a “typical” or even “normal” family.  And, yet, we continue to expect families to provide a positive and emotional environment in which to raise children, care for elderly and disabled members, and provide a satisfying relationship for its adult members.  What we often find is a struggle to do this in the midst of confusion in roles that comes with a rapidly changing society and an economy that often leaves families struggling to make ends meet, with one or both parents often working two or more jobs to provide basic necessities.

In addition, over the last fifty years, families in general have become smaller, as we choose to have fewer children, live in single parent families as a result of divorce or the birth of children out of wedlock, or the choice of singles to adopt a child on their own or choosing to have a child without a marital partner.  Families that are larger may be a “blended” family created when two divorced parents come together and have to face the amazing complexities of a “yours, mine, and ours” family structure.  Often, couples are faced with being mom and dad to their young children, while at the same time caring for their own elderly parents.

All of these factors complicate the “safe haven” that we expect from our families.  How, then, does this vast array of “families” provide a “sanctuary” that offers us an emotionally safe and nurturing environment for ourselves and our children in an often difficult world outside of our front door?  For many families, this sanctuary will not exist without some help.

Often families and the individuals in them are in need of insight, education, support, guidance, and assistance with resolving conflict and a helping hand in managing losses and transitions.  Our society as a whole is often reluctant to seek outside help from therapists or pastors as individuals.  This is true to a greater extent of families, due to the added complication of getting at least two or more family members to agree to seek help and attend that first counseling session.

Notes: 

“The Death of the Hired Man” – Robert Frost
 Family Counseling and Therapy – A. Horne & M. Olsen
 Basic Family Therapy – P. Barker

 MEET OUR lakeland STUDENT INTERN

Keith obtained his Bachelor of Arts degree from Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville, TN in 1967 and his Doctor of Medicine from the University of Florida in 1971. Retiring this year, for the past 36 years he has worked as an Anesthesiologist mostly in Central Florida where he headed up the obstetrical anesthesia unit at Lakeland Regional Medical Center. He hopes to complete an external Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling from Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA next year.   Keith served in the Army in Germany from 1974-77 and trained Nurse Anesthetists in Swaziland Africa in 1977-78 and 1981-82. His first wife of 32 years died 5 years ago from cancer. He has five children and one grandchild. He is celebrating his third anniversary of marriage to Pauline who is from Hong Kong. Keith and Pauline are an E-Harmony success story. Keith enjoys visiting his children, singing, playing trombone, gardening and swimming and has two cats. He is interested in the following areas of counseling: medical issues, health and wellness, pre-marital counseling, bereavement, spiritual, financial, men’s issues, substance abuse, and working with parents of gay/lesbian children.

Thank you for your contributions

We want to thank all of you who took the time in 2007 to make financial contributions to the Episcopal Counseling Center.  Your gifts to our general fund and to our Barnabas Fund this year have made it so our professional Christian Counselors are available to do what they do best — offer a safe space where clients’ thoughts and heartfelt needs can be expressed and words of healing can be heard.  Without your contributions we would not be able to continue in this ministry.

 We are also grateful for the in-kind contributions we receive from the Diocese of Central Florida in the way of office space at our Orlando location, and from the many churches throughout Central Florida that provide us a home:  Holy Trinity, Melbourne; St. Luke & St. Peter, St. Cloud; St. David’s, Cocoa Beach; Gloria Dei, Cocoa; St. Gabriel’s, Titusville; All Saint’s, Lakeland; St. Thomas’, Eustis.  

  In addition to the financial gifts we receive, we are also very much aware that approximately 50% of all our referrals come from churches of many denominations in Central Florida.  If you know someone who might benefit from Christ-centered mental health or marriage & family counseling, please pass on our phone number and website address to them.   Again—Thank you!